I remember it like it was yesterday. Two of my closest friends pulled me aside, out of nowhere, and sat me down in my dorm room. The two of them on one side, and me on the other. I knew they were about to talk to me about something serious, but I had absolutely no clue what was coming. I was in shock from the words that came out of their mouths, "we think you have an eating disorder." Still brings me to tears to this day. Not just for myself and the denial of the self sabotaging life that I was so innocently living, but also for everyone else in the world that is experiencing the obsession, the emotions, the lost feeling, the cluelessness, and the pain.
If you're a busy woman like me, your day is jam packed. Work, kids, family functions, to-do lists, keeping up on the house, laundry, errands, school activities, sports...oh and let's not forget simply taking care of ourselves and eating. It's a lot to juggle...and we somehow, someway manage to do it all.
This doesn't mean that every day goes smooth as silk. I mean, not even close some days. This can be such a defeating feeling...if we let it. There are ways that we can look at a day like this differently, so that we don't let it get us down and inevitably see it as opportunity to re-align in a more positive way moving forward. And at the same time, I have come to realize that there are also ways that we can truly set ourselves up for success.
“I feel so damn good…wouldn’t it be cool to work with other woman to show them how living healthy really can be simple, rewarding, and far from depriving one’s self? I could go shopping with them, show them what to eat when they go out, find out where they are struggling, what’s standing in their way, and support them in making choices that are right for them.” THIS…this is what I said to one of my friends about 10 years ago. Honestly, I completely forgot about it until just recently. It literally gave me chills when this memory flashed into my head. I immediately thought…’How powerful am I that I put this out into the Universe when I was feeling my best? AND NOW, 10 years later, I am doing just this!’ Here’s the thing…we are all powerful beings!
The truth is, I hit a wall. And I didn’t see it coming. I felt so good about the way I was juggling everything that life had thrown at me. And it was a lot! I felt like I was riding out this adventure that kept me at a constant high…and I was keeping it all together. Get the boys fed, diaper changed, trip to the park, post on social media, emails sent, food prepped, dishes washed, floor cleaned, laundry done, texts returned, calendar updated, ….it was all happening. But what I didn’t see coming was the aftermath.
I don’t encourage self care because it’s a fad, although I think it should be. I have been guided to encourage self care because I believe it is absolutely essential and necessary for health, livelihood, and the condition of the world. There is so much LOVE in the world and yet it saddens me to say that we are also surrounded by hate. Hate on many different levels. And it has brought me to ask a few questions. When there is hate projected from someone, could it be possible that it is due to an imbalance? Perhaps an imbalance in their mind, body and/or spirit? Could the hate be stemming from a deeper rooted problem of the way that the person viewed themselves, and the way the person felt? Perhaps stemming from a situation or years of being treated a certain way (either by someone else or their own self), but ultimately leading to an imbalance?
A few weeks ago I had something totally unexpected happen to me that threw up my whole world. Something that happened within a second that changed the course of everything that had been working toward, was a part of my daily life, had control over, and ultimately was what I prided myself on. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was exactly what I needed.
The last couple of weeks have been hard to swallow, as I'm sure you can understand. I have lived my life in the recent past with the mindset, ‘Turn off the ‘News’ and LOVE your neighbor.’ As someone who picks up on all types of emotions and energies around me, I have realized the things that I need to do to stay the healthiest in mind, body, and spirit, so that I can continue to carry out what I am here to do. Watching the news only creates anxiety and fear in me…two things that can consume on a much deeper level. However, there is no escaping the news right now, and it got me thinking. Is it right to cut myself off from the reality of the world around me? Is not watching the news really cutting myself off from the world around me? What are my views on each precious situation? Do I have to have an opinion? Is it right to have an opinion? And how do I proceed?
To the exhausted mom, who says there has to be rules?…
I read an article the other day, and I felt overly compelled to respond. I’m not typically one to do that, but as a mom and a health coach that works with other moms to find inner peace and balance, I felt inspired to do so. The pain and struggle that this woman describes is all too common today. Unfortunately a common trend as a mom is feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and irritable. I myself have felt the pain that the woman was expressing and have since gained a different perspective so that I don’t have to feel that pain. I’m hoping to help a few of you amazing moms by sharing a little of my perspective.
If you're anything like me, you've had those dreadful mornings where you're literally trying everything on in your closet and nothing is working for you. You find yourself muttering in disgust as you stare at the the pile of clothes on your bed...'I have no clothes.' You then start feeling overwhelmed because not only do you have a million other things you have to pay for, but now you need a new wardrobe.
Motherhood…it’s the best job ever and yet it can drive a person totally crazy at the same time. We all see the sweet blissful pictures on social media of cute little babies, families posed in a field full of flowers, siblings laughing together, and parents gazing lovingly at their children. But let’s be honest…behind the camera is a reality that can be messy, emotional, confusing, stressful, draining, stinky, embarrassing, and totally awkward at times. Yet somehow these are the aspects of my reality that make this job the best I could ever hold. It has put me completely out of my comfort zone at times (let’s start with birth…) and has made me into a woman that is stronger, more confident, more patient, more understanding, and more beautiful feeling than ever before in my life.
These two words are buzzing around a lot these days. And at the same time, do we all truly know what this means? Does it have the same meaning for everyone?
For many years I envisioned self care as buying the things I needed right then and there, feeling privileged to always fulfill my wants, and doing anything and everything to protect or satisfy my emotions. I work hard so I deserve it, right? Isn’t that how it works?