I remember it like it was yesterday. Two of my closest friends pulled me aside, out of nowhere, and sat me down in my dorm room. The two of them on one side, and me on the other. I knew they were about to talk to me about something serious, but I had absolutely no clue what was coming. I was in shock from the words that came out of their mouths, "we think you have an eating disorder." Still brings me to tears to this day. Not just for myself and the denial of the self sabotaging life that I was so innocently living, but also for everyone else in the world that is experiencing the obsession, the emotions, the lost feeling, the perspective, and the pain.
At the time, I thought my behaviors were normal. I thought anyone that wanted to become a healthier person needed to count calories, be extremely disciplined, strive for perfection, and analyze their every move.
You see, it all started so innocently. I started college with two goals in mind...to meet a lot of new people and to steer clear of the freshman 15.
I played sports my entire life, could eat anything I wanted, and I was stick thin. However, I hated being so thin. I was vulnerable to the comments from other girls that were meant to be flattering and completely hurtful at the same time. I specifically remember in middle school hearing, “guys think you’re pretty but they don’t want to go out with you because they think they’ll crush you.” Yep…that stung a bit.
But then, when the endless fast food and stress eating toward the end of high school started to show itself, I freaked out. Saw pictures of myself, the weight gain, and instantly felt disgusted. It wasn't even that much, but for a girl with a distorted body image, it definitely was. I was a girl that grew up with a complex of being too skinny, that turned into a girl with a complex of stress eating & thinking she’s fat.
And so the decision to change things a bit, or should I say, obsessively, began.
In the midst of the eating disorder and obsessive behaviors, I was finding my self-worth and happiness in how long I could go without eating, how few calories I could eat, how small I could become. It was a crazy, emotional roller coaster…every. single. day. And to be honest, I didn’t think anyone even knew, because most of it was happening on the inside.
I created my reality. And my reality was a life of lack, discipline, and constantly seeking outside validation. Because what was happening on the inside was far from validation.
I am grateful to my friends for showing up for me…for stepping into their power and doing what they knew was right…for using their higher selves, regardless of the way they thought I was going to react (because denial and 'I'm totally fine!" was what they heard), to save me from myself sabotaging behaviors.
What I didn't realize then was that all along I had choices. Choices in how I wanted to view by body, choices in how I wanted to treat my body, choices in how I wanted to define myself worth, and choices in how I wanted to perceive my life. And when I chose to see view my life in a state of lack, my reality became a life of deprivation and a feeling of being trapped. When I became educated and decided to view my life in a state of abundance, my reality became a life of freedom.
I could not be more grateful for the freedoms that I have around food at this point in my life. And that is why I am so passionate in sharing my knowledge, experience, and approach with other women so that they can have freedom as well.
And you see, this did not only affect my relationship with food, but also my relationship with all aspects of life. My relationships with others, my relationship with myself, my relationship with money, my relationship with spirituality, my relationship with forgiveness, my relationship with my body, my relationship with what is possible in life…and so much more.
I decided to truly OWN everything I did because it was all CHOICES. And there is so much freedom in choices.
I've even seen this when I'm home with my boys. Some days I feel a bit trapped and not able to do as I please. Feeling like everything I do is for someone else. But I have to come back to the fact that I am so blessed in the CHOICE that I made to become a mom. And when I am able to see my life in this light, I am more open to seeing my opportunities to take time for myself.
And through my experiences of deciding to OWN my life, mixed with seeing a desperate need for so many woman that I come into contact with, is why I decided to create the Own Your To-Do list mastermind. You see, something that seems so insignificant in our lives, that we tend to put off & despise, is something that we can create a solid relationship with, and use for good in our lives. It's something that will ALWAYS be there as long as we are busy woman, and It's so much more than words & tasks. It's full of opportunity…a road map to living the life that we TRULY desire. And when we OWN it, our lives become more peaceful, more energetic, and more fulfilling. I invite you to check it out here...
And do not miss out on this incredible opportunity to join at such a low rate! Price will go up after Jan 1. This introductory rate will not seen again. So don't miss out!!!!!
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